“That is an incredibly difficult position to be in. I think your physicians and pharmacists at America’s Frontline Doctors would understand that that is a difficult position, the general population may not. But the physician/patient relationship is sacred, I don’t want to interfere and be in the middle of that, because the relationships I have with my patients are sacred. I’m really privileged to be in a small town where I have developed their respect and their trust; I mean, they are my friends.”
When Cortez, Colorado Safeway supermarket pharmacy manager Dr. Nichole Belland last week reached the moment when her conscience would no longer allow her to administer COVID-19 shots, she was unaware that her impromptu act of faith would be captured on video. The lady who filmed it also did not know that she was about to document the heroic culmination of months of research, counsel-seeking, and soul-searching.
Dr. Belland has been a pharmacist for more than twenty years, since graduating from the University of Minnesota in 2000. She has been with Safeway in Cortez for almost twelve, “so I’ve gotten to know my customers quite well; I’ve known them for more than a decade,” she told America’s Frontline Doctors (AFLDS).
The City of Cortez is the home rule municipality that is the county seat and the most populous municipality of Montezuma County, Colorado, United States. The city population was 8,766 at the 2020 United States Census.
“What’s unfolding with these shots was getting harder and harder to not recognize, so I really want to get the message out that there are red flags along the way. I’m trying to tell my colleagues, the other pharmacists, because I don’t understand why they’re not seeing what I see.”
When did you first suspect something was wrong?
“At the beginning, I was concerned because the vaccine rollout happened so fast, and historically we just don’t have vaccines come upon us so quickly.” Belland promptly began her own research: “Researching mRNA technologies, and stumbled upon animal studies, and was rather horrified to see the outcomes of those studies in that we really didn’t have animals that would survive long-term in these trials. That gave me great concern, just that in itself. So I was a little bit leery.
“I still had my professional organizations, and everyone saying how wonderful and effective these shots are, and everyone is excited to give them. And then I got the package, the first box of Moderna. I was pretty excited, because I wanted to see the package insert. I wanted to really read it, and take it in, and understand what they had found in terms of effectiveness, and I wanted more information on the animal studies, side-effects, and all that.
“So imagine my surprise when this folded up little thing said, ‘this space intentionally left blank’. I thought that was kind of odd, so I opened it up, and I did not expect was the entire package insert, both sides, completely blank. No information. That was shocking to me.”
What does that mean? Have you seen something like that before?
“No, and I was like, they must have some exemption because it was under an emergency use authorization, because all of the shots are that way with their package insert. But I had never seen that before, and I realized I had absolutely no information about what I’m putting into someone’s arm, no information about safety in pregnancy, I had already had COVID by the time these shots had come around, so I wasn’t going to get one based on my own innate immunity that I had acquired.
“So I had a lot of questions. But at the same time, I had a whole bunch of professional organizations and corporate guidance on what to say to patients, and there is a notice to health care providers on giving this ‘vaccine’ – personally, I don’t call it that – but, I was quite concerned. It took me a long while to continue the research and find some answers, because it wasn’t very forthcoming. I really had to dig for the information. It wasn’t much longer after that when the first shipment had been brought in and the assisted livings and nursing homes in our communities were all vaccinated.
“That brought concerns to me. I had patients that had been in an assisted living facility, we service their medications, and I had four or five days off, and I came back to find that five of these patients had passed away. It was literally within a week of being vaccinated. It was difficult for me . . . All I knew was that these patients got it one day, and a few days later, they’re dead. That’s all I had. Could have been a coincidence, could have been a car accident, it could have been a whole bunch of different things. It put me on alert, of course, but it wasn’t something I felt I could make the strong decision that ‘no, I can’t give these,’ and ‘no, they’re not good for us.’ I couldn’t do that, still, at this point.
“There were a few more deaths that happened in the next couple weeks; I feel confident in saying twelve patients died from this shot. That’s just based on their timing, and I suspect it was actually quite a bit more.
“Then I started having patients come in with prescriptions. They had gotten their shot, and they would bring in prescriptions for eliquis or xarelto [blood thinners to reduce the risk of blood clots], and they would tell me they had had a stroke, they were in the hospital, they had had heart attacks, and this was a pretty common occurrence after the 65+ group were being vaccinated.
“It was difficult for me to see this, and I’m thinking, ‘this has got to be the shot.’ Well, their primary providers weren’t willing to make that leap. In fact, many times they’d say, ‘On the contrary.’
“Then I was even more confused. When people ask me, ‘You should have quit sooner, didn’t they tell you not to give it,’ well, no. I think that as providers, there’s a few things that the general population doesn’t understand some of the pressures that come along with some of these decisions of giving the shot or not. So a few of the hurdles: 1) I was seeing this death, I was seeing vaccine injury, the patients would tell me what had happened to them, some of them wound up in the nursing home in rehab settings, and they’d share their experience and I’d say, ‘Do you think it was related to your shot?’ ‘Oh, no; my doctor says no,’ and that was a pretty standard answer, and that just confused me.
“So, we move on down the road a bit, we lower the age of people who can be vaccinated, and I’m starting to see some of the same symptoms, and, unfortunately, heart attacks, clots, DVT’s [deep vein thrombosis -formation of a blood clot in a deep vein]; I was seeing that. And it came to a point where it was absolutely impossible to ignore.
“The approach that I used at first was, ‘I feel strongly that these are not a good idea, so I will continue to give these shots, but I will be making a specific, conscious effort to make sure these patients are getting informed consent. So I printed off all kinds of articles, I think it was the College of Surgical Physicians that had a few different informed consent forms for the various shots, I certainly was trying to take advantage of that.
“So when I was in the room, one-on-one with these patients, I would really try to help them understand about the lack of information we have, and the information that I had put it in a very negative light. Patients would ask me questions about it, and I was pretty dramatic because I really wanted them to understand. So I would say, ‘Well let’s see, let’s look that up..’, and I would pull out this blank package insert, and I would say, ‘You know, I can’t answer that for you. Unfortunately, you’re on your own on that.’ Some people were somewhat shocked by that; others were like, ‘Huh; well, give me my shot,’ and at times I was able to convince people, ‘Would you at least research this some more, and if you really, really want it, come back tomorrow, you’ll be first in line, I promise, but do a little bit more research and think about this.’ I’m hoping I was able to convince maybe half those patients to not get it.
“However, the other half had reached out to their primary providers and their specialists, and that’s when I started to see some backlash. They would come in, the patient would be upset at me for delaying their treatment, if you want to call it that, and their physicians had basically said, ‘absolutely not, you need to go march in there and demand the shot.’
“That is an incredibly difficult position to be in. I think your physicians and pharmacists at America’s Frontline Doctors would understand that that is a difficult position, the general population may not. But the physician/patient relationship is sacred, I don’t want to interfere and be in the middle of that, because the relationships I have with my patients are sacred. I’m really privileged to be in a small town where I have developed their respect and their trust; I mean, they are my friends. I didn’t know how to handle that. That’s still a million-dollar question, and I think for many out there in community pharmacies, I guarantee you: If you’re trying to say the right thing, if you’re trying to get the message out there or trying to dissuade someone, and tell him, ‘we’re not in a hurry, take your time, investigate this, let’s watch this play out a little bit,’ if you’re in that boat and you’re really trying to help your patients in that way, but then they come back with a mad physician, and their attitude has changed towards you, and all of a sudden they don’t trust you – do you give the shot or not? I don’t know. That was a difficult time, because I couldn’t sort out the morality/ethical pieces of it. Admittedly, I was very confused. Meanwhile, I have co-workers, I have professional organizations, and I have my corporate people all pushing the shots to make me feel even more alone in what I saw and what I came away with after researching. I had already had a couple hundred hours of researching into this therapy.
“Ultimately what would happen was I would get these complaints, and they would go to the corporate office, and finally it was in June that a patient came in – at that time they had lowered the age to 18; 18 and older could get this shot – and a kid came in, I would have guessed him to have been 22-3. It was a Saturday, and I had sent my tech home early because he was sick, but he came in and he wanted his shot, and I said, ‘You know, I’m by myself right now so it’ll be a little bit difficult, but to be honest with you, I’ve got a couple hundred hours of researching this, and I’m not comfortable giving it to you. You can go across the street right now, or down the road, there are four other pharmacies in town that I’m sure would be happy to give this to you right now, or you can come back on Tuesday for my other pharmacist.’
“Okay, he left, no problem. On Sunday I came and the store manager had told me that I had a complaint filed against me, and sure enough, it said, ‘Nichole, Pharmacist, said she has a couple hundred hours into researching this, and she would not give this shot.’ Well, that complaint went pretty high up the food chain, to the corporate office, so I knew I would be getting a call on Monday, which I did.”
“The call on Monday was from my boss, and basically she said, ‘Give the shot, or you’re fired.’ So on Tuesday, I took a medical/personal leave. I wasn’t sure what else to do about it. I was gone for four months, and my leave was ending on the 15th of October, and on the 14th I had come in to put my notice in. It had suggested to me to wait to be fired, I know a lot of people are getting that advice right now, and while I understand it, as long as I’m on the sidelines and I’m still employed, I can’t use my voice. I can’t say anything about what I’ve seen, and I also felt like I couldn’t go back to work and give these shots. So I felt I had no choice. I’m leaving, because God knows what I know, He knows that I know that this is poison, and even when people want it.
“We had the conversation, my pastor and I, and I had asked him, ‘How do I deal with this issue? People coming in and demanding it?’ He said, ‘Nichole, you know what you know.’ And I said, ‘Well, yes, but they’re demanding it.’ And then we started having this conversation about free will, and ‘everyone has free will, so if they want it, give them informed consent and let them have it.’
“But that still didn’t sit right with me, because God knows I know it’s poison. So, just because the patient doesn’t know it’s poison doesn’t mean I’m excused.
“I mean truly, this has been a very emotional, ethical, spiritual, moral dilemma for me for months.
“So on the 14th I went in there, I was disappointed to see how the pharmacy had declined in terms of customer service, and I was mad that it had reached this point, because as many in the professional realm of your viewers know, I didn’t just quit my job, I pretty much walked away from my career. I’m pretty certain I’m not going to get a job any time soon in a pharmacy.
“And yet, I had done enough research into the term ‘Rockefeller medicine’ to understand that not everything has been forthright, and it hasn’t been that way for quite some time. So I was prepared to walk away from my profession, sadly, after nine years of effort and $250,000 and blood, sweat, and tears, but I think ultimately I made the right decision. It’s just ironic that a little lady in my line with a crazy little flip phone took a video in that moment that was not staged, and then it went viral. I don’t know what to say about that,” she laughs. “I guess God’s using me for the greater good, that’s what I hope and pray for.”
“Since this went viral, I have been reached out to by so many people with prayers and support, and through this experience I really do feel that we are the majority. We’re not the minority like we are all led to believe, and we’re just quiet. So as things move on, we are working towards getting more united, which is required for us to beat this situation. I think that when decisions are being made at the FDA today regarding immunizations for the 5-11-year-old age group, and I’ve already seen things from the Biden administration about how they’re going to roll this out, so I feel like they already had a pre-meeting, they’ve already decided the fate of today’s meeting with the FDA . . .
“Rile up the momma bears, because I really think that’s what it’s going to be when our children start getting hurt.
“If we put it in a little perspective: I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere, 4-5 hours from the largest cities. If I personally saw twelve patients that I confidently think there’s a correlation from the time they got their shot to their death, plus I have another 12-15 that had heart attacks and strokes and DVT’s. That’s just me. That isn’t even including what stories that my colleagues saw, what they saw at my competitors across the street and the four other pharmacies, but let’s just be conservative about it, let’s just say twenty deaths and twenty vaccine-injured for the whole community. I’m just being super-super-conservative.
“Extrapolate that out. Take that based on the population, it’s staggering, the VAERS numbers are just flat-out wrong, I feel so strongly, they’re flat-out wrong. And they say they’re wrong, we know they’re wrong, it’s underreporting, and there are a lot of reasons for that, but the primary one in my opinion is cognitive dissonance, people just not being able to accept that these are as bad as they are, or that the shots that are being recommended by their providers or by other pharmacists hurt someone, that’s a hard reality. Not to mention, we have been so well-indoctrinated through our professional programs, the Board of Pharmacy, and our schooling itself – we have been trained to trust the CDC, we have been trained to trust the FDA, NIH, NAID, and WHO, those are The agencies, and the Lancet, and the New England Journal of Medicine – these are gold standard journals, which brings me up to the point of the hydroxychloroquine.
“It was a shock to me to see the Lancet study come out talking about how dangerous hydroxychloroquine was. We know that’s not true. They’ve been using this for decades in children without much untoward effects. So I was happy to see the redaction of that, but you didn’t see more than 30 seconds of a report on that on the mainstream media. So people were afraid of it. And that initial report hit every pharmacist’s journal in one way or another, whether it was internal memos, whether it was from the Board of Pharmacy – it then became an issue with the Boards of Pharmacy, and I’m assuming the Board of Medicine, where we were not allowed to dispense hydroxychloroquine for COVID-related illness. That didn’t make sense to me, either, because it said it was based on safety, it’s not effective, none of it makes sense.”
What would she say to doctors who prescribe what they know to be poison, or journalists who write what they know to be lies? “I would just say you have blood on your hands. Whether you’re a journalist just pushing the lies through, whatever your role is, I don’t care if you’re not the one injecting this stuff into someone’s arm, you’re culpable, you’re complicit. The harm being done – I can only hope it’s through ignorance, but I sense that it’s more: they’ve taken a lot of money to put out a story, fully knowing the harm that’s been going on.”
Isn’t one’s main responsibility to provide for one’s family?
“We’re all in that boat. We have just regular citizens who are just facing mandates and they’re having to make decisions whether they’re going to put food on the table or if they’re going to be strong enough to say, ‘I can’t do it. God will provide. We’ll figure it out, but I can’t do it. I’m not getting this shot.’
“So there’s that group. And in all the professions, there’s a COVID story, and we are all going to have to make a decision, and it’s either going to be going towards the truth of this situation, and towards the betterment of humanity, or you’ll stick with the money that you’re comfortable with, and the fortunes, and the respect, and all that ego-based stuff, you’ll hang with that but you’re going to be over here on this side. And I would just encourage people to really think about that.
“My faith is very important to me, which is how I was able to find the strength. I am grateful that God has lifted the veil from my eyes and enabled me to see what I have seen, and I just pray that that will happen for other providers, and then the process of how can they get their message out, whether it’s one-on-one in a room, or being better about the informed consent process, and the lay population also has a very important role:
“If your neighbor survived COVID without a COVID shot, that story needs to be told. If your neighbor got onto America’s Frontline Doctors and got the treatments that they needed and recovered from COVID without the shot, that needs to be shared. If you were scared and got the COVID shot, and you had negative effects from that, that importantly needs to be shared to as many people as you’re comfortable sharing with. So we all have a role. You don’t have to accidentally fling yourself into a viral situation to make a difference. We all are being called to do something, and every one of us can.”